Hi. That's not a men's tank top. That is women's clothing.
I am a proud supporter of the wife-beater. Both the ones that live in trailer homes, and the clothing article. But today we discuss the worn wife-beater - and I support it to the extent that I wear it whenever I can. It is my favorite clothing, and I always have the sense to accessorize with some stains right down the belly and a beer can in my hand. However, somewhere along the way, some dick riding fashion designer (is there any other kind?) decided to take the beater and fuck it all up. These...tank tops just take it a little too far. I think they are called 50 cent tank tops. Because he's the clown who made these famous. I don't know...I made that shit up. Who the fuck cares. The point is that they suck.
one glove...i guess this is what michael jackson would look like if he were black?
You see, this is the problem with people today. They see some fucking celebrity do something and then they think if they can pull it off fashionably as well, then they can be just as cool. Listen fuck tard: You're not 50 cent. The only reason 50 cent can get away with wearing this over sized training bra is BECAUSE he's 50 cent. He's black, huge, and he'll fucking shoot you if you have anything to say about it. However, even at the risk of being shot, there comes a point in life where you have to ask, "Wait - is that dude wearing women's clothing?"
You'll probably notice that nobody else wears these, other than really, really, ridiculously large dudes with biceps bigger than my fucking head. You've probably seen them. They're always at the gym, moving around weights that would take twenty asians to move, drinking large bottles of milky looking shakes that they call "protein", checking themselves out in the mirror every 30 seconds to confirm that...yes...that is indeed your very own man cleavage. Sometimes I wonder if people like that masturbate while looking in the mirror. They look in the mirror and go "Woah! I'm hot! I'm so hot I'm just going to look in the mirror all the fucking time! In fact, fuck it I'm gonna jiggle my balls and stroke myself!"
I just wanted to say, this is pretty much one of the gayest and most inappropriate things a dude could possibly wear, right next to heels and maxipads. The reason why these huge dudes keep wearing it is because NOBODY would tell them to their face, that they look like total fucking fairies. It's kind of funny because the only reason I wouldn't let them know that they look like silly fucks, is because I'd probably get my ass kicked. (hmm...what does this remind me of?) One could argue that in fashion, attitude and confidence can rectify such things. But it doesn't change the one glaring problem: you are wearing women's clothing.
"but...why male models?"
That's not a beater. That's not a "men's tank top." That's a fucking bitch's top. Yes. The kind that chicks wear when they wanna show off necklines and titties. That's what you are wearing. Since you have so much charm and confidence, really, it's ok. And with such a muscular, rippling, herculean body, who would ever doubt your manliness? I guess that's just why nobody's had the chance to let you know that you look like a fucking hindenburg-flaming-homosexual.
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