Facebook sucks, and so do conceited ugly chicks
1. poking
Poking is stupid. I'm not sure what motivated the poke function, or what gets people to even poke each other, other than that it's some pussy ass way of trying to flirt with a chick because you're too much of a wuss to give her a call. Hey, maybe someday you can even leave something on her wall or send her an anonymous gift, you spineless dick. Second of all, if I'm poking a chick, it's not going to be on facebook, so I'm having trouble even getting the context right. Lastly, guys should not be allowed to poke other guys. There should be a pop up that asks you, "do you like having penis rubbed all over your face?" If you click yes, only then should the poke go through to the unsuspecting recipient.
2. there's too many things on your page
I know that facebook has to keep making new shit to keep the site interesting and to keep people coming back but now there's too much shit all over the place. There are some people who just add every single fucking application they can find and it's just too much. Some of it is neat, but others are just fucking worthless, such as the "Fluff Friends." Every single fluff friend just looks like a pokemon with down syndrome because some anime loving douche created it and thought it looks cute. The main problem I have with this application is that i know that a chick didn't make it. Let's face it - there's only 1 female programmer for every 200 male greasy haired linux loving asshole. And even if that 1 computer science chick might have hairy ass hobbit feet, never takes showers, probably has testicles...I can guarantee she is not sitting there programming some stupid ass application for facebook. She is probably out doing dishes or whatever it is women do, not creating one of the most useless pieces of shit on the internet since adult content filters. (Yes! Let's try to block half the internet! retards.) Without a doubt, it was a dude. Some fucking naruto t-shirt wearing D&D dice rolling ass rammer sat there drawing anime animals with oversized retard heads and programmed a "pet" button. Somebody needs to kick his ass and put his balls back where they belong - between his legs, not in some other dudes mouth. The point is, all these applications are fucking lame and worthless and it's just creating worthless clutter. The only application they should allow to stay is the grafitti one. Nothing makes my day like drawing huge veiny penises and balls on my friend's facebook page so that his coworkers, girlfriend, and family can see what kind of idiot(s) he associates with.
3. the universal-ness of facebook is fucking my shit up
At first, facebook was cool because everybody used it. Now, it sucks my asshole because of the same exact reason. Back then "everybody" meant everybody you knew. Now it's coworkers, these fucking school administrators, little high school shits, and all sorts of people you know, don't know, don't even like, and so on. There's even old ass family members who have no business looking at your photo album entitled, "Totally wasted while wearing my slutty clothes on a wednesday night. Again." You ladies know what I'm talking about.
I read somewhere that you can get canned (or not get hired in the first place) because of the shit on your facebook. As soon as some coworkers added me on facebook, I untagged all my pictures, started deleting information and deleted everything that could get me fired. I also posted all
my writings on facebook, which I had to delete (which is also why I had to get a website to post
my shit now.)
Facebook sure was a lot more fun when it was just college students. Now I can't add high school friends or even look at my high school networks because of fucking child molestors on facebook, and you can't post parties because then your fucking nazi school officials will call the cops on you, and you can't be yourself on your own personal page because you'll get fired for being who you are, not who they want you to be. Fucking facist assholes.
4. the newsfeed sucks (not because it makes it easier for me to stalk you)
I remember when the newsfeed first came out and everybody flipped a shit saying how it's invasion of privacy or something or other. I mean basically it just updates whenever you update. I think the real issue was that people got scared that other people would find out exactly how much time they spend on facebook, and that they could potentially be considered fucking losers. People who claimed that it made stalking too easy are full of shit. Why do girls complain so much about being stalked?
Or why does it seem like every girl has this mysterious stalker problem? I see three inherent problems in their pompous fucking assumption that there's somebody out there who gives a shit about you.
1) what makes you think your boring ass life is worth stalking?
2) what delusional part of your brain told you that you have this fan club that's stalking you? (oh, because Gary the weirdo from physics looked you up and added you? Shut the fuck up it's a social networking site thats what you're supposed to do)
3) who did you make your profile for? did you write out all that personal information about you for your friends who already fucking know who you are?
Bitch, they're not stalking you. They're not worshipping you. They're not all over your shit all the time. They just want to bone you, ok? That's all, so stop worrying so damn much.
Anyways, my point is that the news feed sucks because every time somebody I barely know updates, I have to hear about it. Is there a way to block other people's updates? Or to set up a "hot chick" filter so that I stop seeing pictures of ugly girls in clothing they don't fit in?
5. annoying profiles and pictures
I guess this isn't facebook's fault. Well who gives a fuck I'm going to talk shit anyways. Some people have some fucking ridiculous profiles. Their "about me" descriptions is the equivalent of ego masturbation. I have seen shit like, "I'm single, sexy and fabulous!" or "sexy is what I do!" Are you out of your fucking mind?
If your profile consists of these completely delusional and conceited statements, you need to be run over by a fucking 18 wheeler and then set on fire. It's pretty easy to pick out these profiles because it goes hand in hand with a profile picture with visible cleavage and 400 self tagged pictures of some bitch showing the same angle of her ugly ass face.
Have you notcied some girls do that? Whenever a camera comes out, they always angle their face a certain way. If you're trying to hide the ugly side of your face it's not working. In case you didn't notice, the left side of your face should match the right side. if otherwise, please consult a doctor or physician. or go on top of notre dame and start ringing the bell for a living.
These are the worst kinds of profiles. If your ugly dumb ass shows up on my news feed often enough I just remove your ass (not that it would concern you anyways.) I think everybody should do the same and de-friend these ugly ass, self aggrandizing, full of shit chicks who think they're the shit and have to constantly reaffirm this fact to themselves by smearing it all over the place for everybody to see. And then they complain that they're getting stalked. Somebody fucking shoot them all.
One redeeming thing about facebook
One of my favorite things to do is to remove people or deny friend requests. Mostly because being "friends" on facebook doesn't mean shit. It's such a slap in the face because...why would you go out of your way to delete somebody or some shit. I guess I would, because it's such a bitch ass annoying move that you can't do anything about.
My favorite denial I ever did was to this crazy bitch I used to know and on basic principle I decided I don't want to communicate with her on any level. She is not even worth the back of my hand. Her lack of sensibility and total insanity is at the level where it's fucking hilarious. This is my all time favorite message I've ever gotten in any form of email, facebook message or im:
She actually confronted me while I was eating lunch in the cafeteria once.
crazy korean bitch: so...why won't you add me as your friend?
I couldn't stop laughing at that point.
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